The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the SkullAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men especially in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete check my reference attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!