The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).
B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .
When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry Read More Here happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.
Singles who pursue about his a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!