The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the MindAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .
When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, says that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing YOURURL.com rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!