The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the MindAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .
However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination why not find out more and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Many gay males desire to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't Your Domain Name control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication i was reading this uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!